-- “Don’t believe your thinking.”
This page will attempt to help you with questions like: What do I do about feeling disappointed? What should I think about it, and what does it mean? (Quick answer: feeling disappointed just means you wanted things to turn out a certain way and they didn’t. It usually means something mattered to you, which is good; don’t give up!…)
Another three minute guide to a common thought/feeling (a la The 3 Principles).
My Thoughts About Feeling Disappointed
What has disappointed me in my life, then? Hmm, let’s see. And let’s be as open and honest as I like to be whilst seeing, shall we!
- My love life has (sometimes) disappointed me:
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve learnt so much about relationships, about myself, being in as many short- and long-term relationships as I have. What a teacher my love life has been! But, still, I wish I still wish I was happily married with children (and a dog)! Hah, guess there’s many that have that unfulfilled wish, though.
- People have (sometimes) disappointed me:
Not doing what they said they would; not saying what they mean; being mean for no (obvious) reason…
- My family has (sometimes) disappointed me:
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got sisters and brothers that love me, a Mum and a Step-Dad that loves me, too. But, still, I’d rather have been encouraged by them more -- recognised, valued and appreciated -- and criticised, goaded, or ignored less. (Wouldn’t anyone?) But, you see what you see! And, again, this disappointment has been a great Inside-Out teacher for me.
- My life has (sometimes) disappointed me:
Not having as much fun as I’d have liked; not enjoying myself enough; too much “working things out” (in my head).
- My sex life has (sometimes!) disappointed me:
Hah, I really won’t go there, I won’t. And I know I’m not alone with this ‘issue’. Let’s just say that openness and vulnerability, and not being in your head quite as much -- these are all things I’m embracing more and more, these days! Whoop-de-dooh!
What Disappoints Me Today May Fascinate Me Tomorrow
I could go on when it comes to feeling disappointed with what life has presented to me (as I’m sure you could, too), but I’ll stop there. Fact is, as much as people have disappointed me, I’m sure I have disappointed them!
Yeah, we thinkers get to misuse our gift of thinking -- we get to disappoint, and to be disappointed!
NOTE: *I* have not disappointed me, though!
I have always been there, for me -- in good times (of thinking less, and trusting and feeling) and bad (of confusion and misunderstanding).
The essence of Who I Am has always been there, holding me, being with me, keeping me going. I expect the same is true for you, and the essence of Who You Are, too!
So, there’s hope -- for you and me, both! We can deepen our Inside-Out understanding of life; we can stop taking things so personally. And when we do, we’ll realise that there are no disappointments in life, just unmet expectations; just thoughts about how things should be, that’s all. And things are as they are. And there’s nothing disappointing about this fact, instead it’s a liberation!…
About Feeling Disappointed -- The Inside-Out Understanding
Can disappointment exist without there being thinking involved?
If something happens, and we don’t give it any particular meaning -- we get the girl / we don’t get the boy, but it doesn’t mean anything -- then can any thing be disappointing?
Think about that, please, for a moment. Please. Can anything be disappointing without thinking being involved?…
No, is the answer to that question.
The feeling of disappointment just means we’re thinking something that isn’t true. (What’s not true? Well, that somebody ‘should’ behave a certain way, or do a certain thing, or we ‘should’ be valued and recognised even; ‘should’ is not true.)
Does that make sense?
I imagine my family might be disappointed to read that I sometimes consider my family to be a source of disappointment to me.
I’m not right to be disappointed (and neither are they!) -- again, there really are NO disappointments, just ‘made up responses’ to the events that we perceive.
The ‘Truth’ About Disappointments
Everyone is doing their best. Always. But once we see where the source of our experiences truly come from -- and that’s from Inside -- we start to take responsibility for our feelings MUCH more, and we are disappointed (and we disappoint) MUCH less.
Not out of some deliberate act of not wanting to be disappointed, but just as some lovely, natural consequence of taking 100% responsibility for our feelings.
And until then, it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with feeling disappointed, with thinking thoughts that disappoint us. Again, disappointment serves -- as all our feelings we do not care for serve us -- as feedback about how life really is versus how we want it to be.
Does that make sense?
About Feeling Disappointed -- Video
Here’s what I was inspired to share in a video I recorded in October, 2015:
What Are YOU Thinking?
Is this making sense to you? Either the words I’ve shared, or the 3 minute hero video I recorded. Do you agree or disagree about my thoughts about feeling disappointed -- I’d love to know!…
"Leave everything undefined, including yourself. Befriend uncertainty. Fall in love with mystery. Kneel at the altar of not knowing. Give your questions time to breathe. The answers will find you." – Jeff Foster
Explore what happens to your problems when you leave yourself 'undefined'...
(1-2-1 transformative coaching conversations are a powerful way to explore the human condition. First conversation always free.)