-- “Break open, break free: humble yourself to life.”
This page will attempt to help you with questions like: What do I do about feeling brokenhearted? What should I think, and what does it mean? (Quick answer: heartbreak is a natural (sometimes painful) rebirthing -- where you are letting go of one reality, to replace it with another. As with real childbirth, surrender is the best way.)
Another three minute guide to a common thought/feeling (a la The 3 Principles).
My Thoughts About Feeling Brokenhearted
Honestly, the last thing I’d ever want to do when I’m feeling heart-broken is to read a page sharing thoughts about feeling brokenhearted. Especially when it’s written by someone who is not actually experience heartbreak at time of writing (which I wasn’t).
But still, I write.
I’ve been heartbroken at least about 10 times in my life (read Welcome Your Suffering for an example). 10 doesn’t sound that bad, but when you consider that each time is extremely painful, that’s pretty much 9 times too many (everyone should experience heartbreak at least once, I believe).
So what are my thoughts, then, about feeling heartbroken?
- These are some of the most intense, and painful moments of my life
- I could think of nothing else other than WHAT I DO NOT HAVE
- Life loses its lustre, nothing is that much fun, greyness abounds
I have been physically ill, too. (I know others who have have severe forms of physical breakdown.) I’ve most definitely been miserable. And I have also done anything (inappropriate and untimely intimacy with others, alcohol over-consumption, losing myself in work) to avoid feeling the pain I’ve been experiencing in that moment (unfelt pain, anyone?)
Not only is heartbreak a form of opening (heart-opening) it is, as importantly, a form of breakdown -- something about what IS very much goes against how you want life to be.
We have a breakdown, because our vision of the world can no longer be maintained. (Ouch. AND… Hallelujah!)
Funnily, I’ve never much thought of the gift of heartbreak before this very moment. And I’m not even sure why it’s one of the 20 feelings listed in this new 3 minute heroes series. But it is. There is wisdom to be seen here, clearly. Hmm, how interesting…
About Feeling Heartbroken -- The Inside-Out Understanding
There is a strange aliveness -- a heightened sense of awareness -during heartbreak, that I’ve come to see.
It’s almost like we have been jolted back into the brutal truth of life -- that nothing is ever truly known, feelings are meant to be felt, and some of those feelings we get to experience as human beings feel extremely painful to us.
But nothing is wrong here. Other than an innocent misunderstanding about life -- that life is not meant to be nasty or unpleasant (especially if we eat all our greens). This is perhaps a comfortable, westernised view of how life should be -- we have seemingly conquered the outside world (via centuries of successive colonisations) that we believe we should be able to conquer our inner world the same way -- via brute force, sinister manipulations or some other ‘force’ of control.
- So we should not feel the pain of heartbreak (make it go away, please -- PLEASE!)
- We should not (dare I say) feel moody, irrational or angry when it comes to that time of month (or, worse, that time of our lives)
- We ought to be in control -- of love, of life, of ourselves. (WE ARE NOT.)
What Being Brokenhearted Reminds Us Of
Feeling brokenhearted is another of life’s reminder to us that we are not in control. In the mangled words of The Rolling Stones, “You might not get what you want, but I’ve found you get what you need.”
ALL parents know that the greatest loss that you can ever experience is losing the greatest love you’ve ever experienced (the loss of a child).
The FACT -- and this is a fact with capital letters -- is that we are not in control of our experiences as human beings. We are on a ride, simple as that. We get to steer, we get to play, we get to fall down and get back up again, but we are not the ride owners and we have very little influence over how the ride goes.
Less ‘advanced’ societies still understand this. So pain (and heartbreak) is a natural consequence of life. As is joy and love and peace.
Life: Heartbreak Hotel, you might it call it.
Wow, didn’t expect to write all that when it came to my thoughts about feeling heartbroken. But this is what happens when you trust in a creative force (The Principle of Mind) that is infinitely greater than you are -- inspiration flows through you.
About Feeling Heartbroken -- Video
Here’s what I was inspired to share in a video I recorded in October, 2015:
About Feeling Brokenhearted -- What Are YOU Thinking?
Is this making sense to you? Either the words I’ve shared, or the 3 minute hero video I recorded. Do you agree or disagree about my thoughts about feeling brokenhearted (bout heartbreak) -- I’d love to know!…
"Leave everything undefined, including yourself. Befriend uncertainty. Fall in love with mystery. Kneel at the altar of not knowing. Give your questions time to breathe. The answers will find you." – Jeff Foster
Explore what happens to your problems when you leave yourself 'undefined'...
(1-2-1 transformative coaching conversations are a powerful way to explore the human condition. First conversation always free.)