-- “Tiredness, misunderstandings, and missing clarity.”
This page will attempt to help you with questions like: What do I do about feeling confused? What should I think about it? What does it mean? (Quick answer: confusion is simply a lack of understanding, a lack of clarity in this moment. Wait… it will come to you; YOU will come to you.)
Another three minute guide to a common thought/feeling (a la The 3 Principles).
My Thoughts About Feeling Confused
Confusion has been an ever-present ‘disturbance’ in most of my life, if I’m being honest. If I’m being honest (and I usually am!) it was this confusion and misunderstanding that led me to discover self-help and spirituality 15 years ago, which led me to develop SelfHelpCollective.com in 2008, which opened me up to the idea of Michael Neill’s Coaching From The Inside Out program in 2012 -- and ALL to help me make sense of the world, to help me make sense of me…
(NOTE: The self-help and spirituality helped me on my journey of understanding, my journey to be clear, but it was the Inside-Out understanding as revealed by Syd Banks in the 1970s and shared to me by Michael Neill that has led to my almost complete lack of confusion these days!)
… Yes, I now see confusion as a form of losing touch with yourself, with your very essence.
So when I didn’t understand people -- I didn’t understand the world! -- it really meant that I didn’t understand myself. And whilst, like life itself, I will always remain a mystery (as you will to yourself), I now understand how we work and why we do what we do.
Confusion, then, was an indicator that I was looking in the wrong place for my answers.
And the answers always come from within, from inside, always! Even if that answer is to ask for help from someone else, it is prompted from within -- from an inner guide that is always there waiting to steer you, always.
Confusion Doesn’t Live Here, Anymore!
So I am no longer confused. I know the secrets to life, why “stuff” happens -- nothing about the world we live in right now puzzles or perplexes me, and why human beings do all manner of despicable acts (because it makes sense for them to do so, in that moment), and I understand why those very same human beings are capable of indescribable acts of love, too (because love is who we are, at essence).
Yes, as Jonny Nash (no relation!) once sang, I Can See Clearly Now.
And when I get lost now -- when I feel angry at the world (or an individual), or I need the world to behave in a certain way to feel ‘safe’, or I am looking outwards for love and hope and understanding -- then it doesn’t take too long for me to return my gaze inwards, to where the answers lie, to Who I Truly Am…
About Feeling Confused -- The Inside-Out Understanding
The words I wrote down as I thought about this feeling of confusion, then:
- Away from self, lost
- The opposite: clear, understanding
Hmm, it seems my own understanding when it comes to thoughts about feeling confused are very much Inside-Out now, something I hadn’t realised until writing this page.
Confusion really is a sign that you’re looking in the wrong direction for your answers -- it simply points to a lack of your clarity in the moment.
- And it could stem from a sustained effort to understand in the mistaken belief that such an understanding will give you the feeling you desire
- Your confusion could stem from being tired, or in a low state of mind
- And it could simply stem from the fact that, right now, you do not see clearly now -- you do not understand, and that is okay (but if you wait, patiently, and listen -- your confusion will pass, you will understand)
What Confusion is Telling Us, Then…
Confusion is another form of feedback, then, that we’re off track (we’re temporarily lost). But we are never truly lost. We always come back to ourselves, always, because we are always here.
(Does this make sense or does it sound confusing? Words are easy to mis-understand, after all. Tell you what, do this for me: think of all a time you were really confused, and now wonder where that confusion went to and why it might, in this moment, have returned. Thank you.)
I talk to my clients about confusion, of course, should the topic arise. A confusion about the 3 principles, maybe, or a confusion about their misunderstanding. Or even a confusion about being confused. It doesn’t matter the form of the confusion, though, as via stillness and calm and space the “muddy waters” settle, and it becomes clear again. Just like that.
About Feeling Confused -- Video
Here’s what I was inspired to share in a video I recorded in October, 2015:
(Hee, I did get a bit confused recording a video about feeling confused. As you’ll see in the first version I recorded!)
What Are YOU Thinking?
Is this making sense to you? Either the words I’ve shared, or the 3 minute hero video I recorded. Do you agree or disagree with my thoughts about feeling confused -- I’d love to know!…
"Leave everything undefined, including yourself. Befriend uncertainty. Fall in love with mystery. Kneel at the altar of not knowing. Give your questions time to breathe. The answers will find you." – Jeff Foster
Explore what happens to your problems when you leave yourself 'undefined'...
(1-2-1 transformative coaching conversations are a powerful way to explore the human condition. First conversation always free.)