-- “You are more confident than you think.”
This page will attempt to help you with questions like: What do I do about feeling confident? (Er, enjoy!) How do I hold onto it? What does it mean? (Quick answer: feeling confident is You in natural expression, or courage at ease with itself to misquote Daniel Maher. So enjoy, and see it in others!…)
Another three minute guide to a common thought/feeling (a la The 3 Principles).
My Thoughts About Feeling Confident
Ahh, confidence. Something I have lacked for so much of my life, or so other people have told me, repeatedly. (Wonder why I ever listened to them? Ah, I didn’t know any better not to.)
Do I exude the confidence of Tyler from Real Social Dynamics -- a lucid living superman? No, I do not. But… that is only because I have (so far) nowhere near delved as deeply inwards, inside, as he has (via some of the actions I suggest below).
Confidence is not a comparison game, though.
I am me. You are you. He is he. Life is ebb and flow. And we ride the ride, while we can, with as much intensity as we dare to muster.
Maybe you dare a lot, or maybe you dare a little. But your confidence is waiting, inside, to meet whatever moment you dare create for yourself.
Confidence, then, is most definitely an Inside-Out gig.
My Confidence Ebbs and Flows
Yes, I lack confidence sometimes. So do you. Of that I am confident!
Yes, there are things you can do to encourage your confidence to express itself more and more -- take actions in life and in love, be open and curious to the moment, notice your confidence as it shows up -- but, seriously, the best action you can ‘take’ is to stop taking your feelings of lacking confidence too seriously.
So, yes, confidence -- ya gotta love it, when it’s here, and ya gotta know it’s coming back when it’s not!
Those are my not-so self-help correct thoughts about confidence in October 2015. And I don’t expect to change my mind soon, but you never can tell, you never can tell -- can you?
This is one of the greatest gifts I’ve received (from myself) from being exposed to this Inside-Out understanding -- that no amount of ‘self-punishment’ is ever useful should you find yourself, in the moment, lacking some quality that you ‘should not’ be lacking.
So, I am confident. I’ve always been confident. I’ve also lacked confidence, too.
But the main difference between me aged 50 and me aged 20 is that I listen far less to others projecting their fears and their doubts (of themselves and their own lack of confidence) onto me.
I am confident, too, that I could be influenced less by the projections (thoughts) of others. And that’s okay. For now, I make sure I don’t project my nonsense onto others -- that’s good enough, for me, for now.
About Feeling Confident -- The Inside-Out Understanding
I’ve written and recorded a video on confidence already. Another 3 Minute Hero effort I created in December 2014. The essence of my sharing on that page, and in that video was this simple statement:
Being confident is really Being Who You Are
Confidence, then, is the amount of You showing up in you in any given moment. For this You I speak of is resilient, contented, certain:
- This You does not need to impress others
- This You is secure in their own skin
- All is well, especially when all is not well
- Nothing is wrong
- No one else is needed (but you are always able to ask for help, if help is required)
And when you lack confidence, then, you lack a strong experience of this You -- in essence you have forgotten Who You Are.
(Does that make sense?)
This is the beauty of the Inside-Out understanding. Everything is simple. And nothing needs to be done. You either remember, or you forget. That is all.
And here we get to one of the magical gifts of transformative coaching -- transformative coaches help you remember, that is all they ever do!
About Feeling Confident -- Video
Here’s what I was inspired to share in a video I recorded in October, 2015:
What Are YOU Thinking?
Is this making sense to you? Either the words I’ve shared, or the 3 minute hero video I recorded. Do you agree or disagree about my thoughts about feeling confident (about your confidence) -- I’d love to know!…
"Leave everything undefined, including yourself. Befriend uncertainty. Fall in love with mystery. Kneel at the altar of not knowing. Give your questions time to breathe. The answers will find you." – Jeff Foster
Explore what happens to your problems when you leave yourself 'undefined'...
(1-2-1 transformative coaching conversations are a powerful way to explore the human condition. First conversation always free.)