– “Nothing to see, here (nothing to aim for).”
This page will attempt to help you with questions like: What do I do about feeling contented? (Er, enjoyyy!) How do I hold onto it? (You don’t!) And what does it mean? (Quick answer: feeling contented really is you getting out of your own way, really is you just being you…)
Another three minute guide to a common thought/feeling (a la The 3 Principles).
My Thoughts About Feeling Contented
Okay, I’m feeling gently contented that my idea to create 20 videos and 20 blog posts (called Thoughts About Feelings) is almost finished, satisfactorily so. And not because I’ve achieved what I set out to achieve. No, but because I’ve listened to myself as I created this content – because I was able to realise what I first imagined (whilst idling along the Huddersfield canal), the way I’d imagined I’d create it (gently, inspiringly, and enjoyably – for the most part).
In short I feel contented because I feel like I’ve honoured who I am – I’ve listened to myself.
My Contentment Comes, My Contentment Goes…
My contentment isn’t permanent, though. And that’s because I have a tendencey to think too much. And when I do I often give that thinking way too much meaning. And then I (occasionally) try and think my way out of this situation. (Which usually results in anxiety, confusion, frustration or worse – oh oh!)
This is what I call getting in my own way. (The opposite of feeling contented.) Still, my feelings of contentment, I believe, are always there waiting for me to feel them, to get in touch with them, just as soon as I get out of the way.
Getting out of my own way, then, looks like this to me:
- I listen to myself more
I listen to my wisdom, I listen to my feelings, and I also listen to (take note of but do not act on) my fear.
- I act without need of an outcome more
So I have no idea why I’m creating these thoughts about feelings pages – not sure how they will benefit my coaching business, or even how they might benefit you. It just feels good to do so, and I know ‘something good’ will come from my doing so. I trust that this is the right thing to do. No (goal-setting) outcomes necessary.
- I show up and I respond to what shows up more
I first heard this expression in Michael Neill’s Coaching From The Inside-Out program, as a simple instruction to be a transformative coach: show up and respond to what shows up. This ‘philosophy’ (that I’m going to call ‘Listening’) not only helps you be a great coach, though, it helps you live a great life.
Feeling contented, then: listening to wisdom, not fear; a knowing that all is okay; being, rather than doing.
Feeling Contented: A Virtuos Circle?…
Interstingly, as I more or less write this without knowing what words will come next, I see how feeling contented begets feeling contented – in yourself, or in those who witness it in you. It’s a reminder of Who We Are, so to speak – triggering a deep resonance, within.
So listening to yourself is a form of contentment in its own right. As is giving no meaning to your actions, just acting. As is showing up and responding to what shows up.
Feeling contented is, really, just feeling yourself – ALL of yourself, and being okay with you what you experience.
Feeling contented is more ‘yoga in action’, then – when the point of what you’re doing is what you’re doing. (And what you’re doing can be anything, really it can, as long as you bring acceptance to it!)
By the way, I don’t believe contentment is anything to fear, I really don’t. (Just in case you do, in case you’re wary of ‘doing nothing’ from a state of contentment.) I mean, how can fighting yourself less result in anything other than a more productive and a more satisfying life as YOU? Answers on a postcard, please, I’m curious!
About Feeling Contented – The Inside-Out Understanding
Interestingly, the ‘positive’ feelings I’ve written and videoed about seem to stem from the same source, that of Being Yourself.
So, I could say the same thing about feeling contented (below) as I could about feeling confident, for example:
Being contented [confident] is really Being Who You Are
Our feelings of contentment, confidence, being in flow, feeling fulfilled or excited – ALL are forms of who we are when we let go of giving our thinking any particular meaning.
And so our disharmonious’ feelings are exactly the opposite: what happens when we give our thinking (and we think all the time, by the way) specific meanings.
Isn’t that fascinating?
Well it is to me. We feel good, means we’re not really thinking about our thinking. We feel bad means we’re wondering what our thinking means.
That really is about all I’ve got to say on this, right now. Short and sweet:
A lovely feeling, feeling contented, but nothing to aim for. Rather aim, instead, to let go of all the thinking that’s getting in the way of your feeling contented.
This is the beauty of the Inside-Out understanding. Everything is simple. And nothing needs to be done. You either remember (and let go) or you forget (and hold on). That is all.
And here we get to one of the magical gifts of transformative coaching – transformative coaches help you remember, that is all they ever do!
About Feeling Contented – Video
Here’s what I was inspired to share in a video I recorded in October, 2015:
What Are YOU Thinking?
Is this making sense to you? Either the words I’ve shared, or the 3 minute hero video I recorded. Do you agree or disagree about my thoughts about feeling contented (about contentment) – I’d love to know!…
"Leave everything undefined, including yourself. Befriend uncertainty. Fall in love with mystery. Kneel at the altar of not knowing. Give your questions time to breathe. The answers will find you." – Jeff Foster
Explore what happens to your problems when you leave yourself 'undefined'...
(1-2-1 transformative coaching conversations are a powerful way to explore the human condition. First conversation always free.)