About Feeling Anxious: The Three Principles & You

“A natural mis-use of imagination”

Introduction

This page will attempt to help you with questions like: What do I do about feeling anxious? What should I think about it? What does it mean? (Answer: anxiety is simply reminding you that you are effectively living in the unknown, moment by ‘what’s-coming-next’ moment. And you can respond to that with anxious thinking, or not.)

Another three minute guide to a common thought/feeling (a la The 3 Principles).

My Thoughts About Feeling Anxious

Watch the video below! In it you’ll see I was feeling anxious when I recorded it. Not anxious of recording the video, but anxious of what would happen a couple of hours later when I attended my very first Here and Now Meetup group.

Now this Meetup group is all about the people who attend being ‘present’, and sharing their experiences with others – with strangers – as part of that presence.

I was fine when I thought about this Meetup group up until a few hours before I was due to drive for an hour to get there. Then, a wave of unsettling thoughts washed over my body, that looked a little something like this:

I’m feeling anxious about ‘being seen’, being present, with strangers

I shouldn’t be feeling anxious about this – this is something that I, as a transformative coach, should be able to do, be able to be great at

What if I’m rude to someone, or if someone sees through me – sees I’m a fraud

Don’t be silly, Stephen, everyone’s in the same boat, so there’s nothing to worry about (so why am I worried?)

Why the hell am I so anxious about this? (Aaargh!)

Yes, my thoughts about feeling anxious were anxious – how funny is that (how typical, actually!).

I was scared of being seen…

And, okay, this was just one example ‘in the moment’ of my anxiety. I’ve been a worrier all of my life, though. I’ve fretted in relationships (and fretting is not the best ingredient for a loving, long-lasting relationship). I’ve not shown up in the world, fully – due to concerns beforehand, nervousness during, and feeling troubled afterwards.

I could’ve worried for England, believe me!…

About Feeling Anxious – The Inside-Out Understanding

About feeling anxious – hmm, what might an opposite feeling in the moment be I wonder? Could the opposite of anxiety be indifference, maybe, or confidence or even coolness? Hmm….

The fact of the matter is, though, that anxiety is just a feeling – just a thought.

It is here (if it is here) and it should be honoured, or at least acknowledged, and not made wrong (or resisted) – because there is nothing wrong with feeling anxious. Resistance really is futile, and not just to the ‘outer space’ Borg. Resistance doesn’t work well on the ‘inner space’ journey, either; it just doesn’t.

Anxiety is feedback, nothing more and nothing less.

And you can take your anxious feelings and thoughts seriously, or you can simply notice them, like you might notice a dark rain cloud in the sky. Yes, it might mean you get wet very soon. And, yes, you’d prefer it if the sun would shine. But, it’s only weather, and more weather will be coming along shortly.

Nothing needs to be done about your anxiety, or acted on, and you are perfectly safe and secure you really are.

Do you get me? (Do you?)

And a key part of my coaching -- obviously! – is allowing a person’s experience right now to be okay, whether that be feeling anxious, angry or simply alright. (Because it is. Okay. Right now.)