The Only Thing To Know ‘Bout Happiness & Success
The pursuit of happiness? The quest for success? Or how about better relationships with everyone – including yourself? Wanna know ‘how to be happy’?… [Summary]
Is it the latest Elephant Journal-cum-Higher Perspective ‘top 10 list’ you seek, then – but which list is best? – or is there a better, Inside-Out understanding, way? In short, happiness: “10 amazing life lessons”, or 3 Principles that change everything?
How To Be Happy: An Introduction
I was reading yet another inspirational blog post on authentic happiness the other day – as you do! – with suitably compelling title. (Or was it a video on Facebook, or an image on Google, I forget.) And I was finding myself somewhat exasperated with yet another ‘cart-before-the-horse’ explanation of how to be happy.
Look at any series of quotes about happiness, too, and you’ll see the same misunderstanding being made.
What is that misunderstanding? A focus on symptoms, not the source.
And so I write this ‘how to be happy’ post, complete with quotes about happiness, not to aid your pursuit of happiness (to give you the definitive recipe) but to show you how and where to look for it. From within. Via the 3 Principles understanding.
And I’ve included several ‘how to be happy’ examples from the realms of so-called self-help to illustrate how self-help articles help (but mostly hinder) this ‘search’.
How to be Happy – The “10 Amazing Life Lessons” Way
Despite their best intentions, as you’ll see, self-help has you looking in the wrong place. At your symptoms, at the “external causes”. But happiness – the genuine, ‘authentic happiness’ variety – is circumstance independent, it really is, whatever that circumstance is.
How to be Happy – What HigherPerspective.com Says
- Limiting Beliefs
- Dwelling on the past
- Worrying about the future
- Negative Self Talk
- The Need to Impress Others
- The Need to Always Be Right
- Resistance to Change
- Blaming Others
- The Need for Others’ Approval
Whilst these are great guidelines to living a happy, mentally healthy life, is there really anyone who chooses – actively or otherwise – to do any of these things, if they don’t feel they need to?
No. There isn’t. Nobody chooses to complain, to worry about the future or to blame others for feeling crappy. (The very act of taking any of these actions feels awful, by the way – which is a clue!) You only do this, take such an action, because you don’t know any better in that moment.
The Inside-Out understanding aka The Three Principles points you inwards, helps you take 100% responsibility for your experience of life – however good or bad you’re feeling – and also helps you to know ‘better’ (and better and better…).
I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.
– Maya Angelou
How to be Happy – What Albert Einstein Says
- Follow your curiosity
- Perseverance is priceless
- Focus on the present
- The imagination is powerful
- Make mistakes
- Live in the moment
- Create values
- Don’t expect different results
- Knowledge comes from experience
- Learn the rules and then play better
Again, when you think the outside world can impact you somehow – can disturb the core essence of who you are – then you are less likely to do what Albert Einstein wisely suggests.
When you ‘get’ that you create your experience 100% from the Inside-Out you are much more likely to be curious, to live in the moment and to make mistakes.
And here are 3 more similar attempts to get you to be happy by trying to copy the symptom rather than look toward the source: Zen Habits (do something calming), Tut.com (let go of staying busy all the time) and Forbes (find the ‘why’ that drives you).
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How to be Happy – The Inside-Out Understanding Way
On offer below, then, is an Inside-Out understanding – the human operating system, if you will – that points to the source of happiness, rather than the symptoms of it:
- Understand that you’re living in the feeling of your thinking in the moment
- Understand that it is YOUR thoughts, and your thoughts alone, that create your reality – your relationship with your thinking, and how seriously you take it
- Understand that it’s not ‘what happens’ to you that matters, but that you think/feel – and whatever it is you’re thinking, you don’t have to think that; whatever it is that you’re feeling, it will pass; it’s JUST thinking, just feeling
- So not only do the answers lie within you, but so do ALL of your problems
- And it’s not about an understanding, but an indescribable ‘feeling’ – listen for it
Said more simply, the ‘how to be happy’ instruction could be: Understand the 3 Principles behind the human experience; find a way to deepen that understanding; listen for a feeling.
That is all.
Self-help versus Inside-Out understanding or Symptoms vs Source.
The more you understand the Inside-Out nature of the human experience (a la The 3 Principles) – the more you see as FACT that you are living in the feeling of your thinking in the moment (rather than your circumstances) – the more you will live as lovingly urged to do so by the likes of Higher Perspective, Zen Habits et al.
The more you look to the source of (and solution to) all problems and opportunities – look within! – rather than to the ‘love and happiness’ symptoms that might help you, the better your experience of life will be.
All self-help and spiritual cliches aside, happiness really does come from within.
Yes, happiness IS an inside-out job
and that’s ALL you need to remember.
This is the premise behind the Inside-Out understanding, anyway, aka The Three Principles as a description of the human experience, as first advocated by Theosopher Sydney Banks in the 1970s.
How to be Happy: The Feeling Within!
Sydney Banks was not saying anything new, here; he just found (arguably) a better way to say it. A better way of helping you develop and deepen your Inside-Out understanding of the human experience. And this will result in you, naturally:
- Taking 100% responsibility for your experience, good or bad, thus
- Knowing that answers (inspiration and insight) come from within
- Increasing your self-awareness, your awareness of others and of how life works
I’m betting you’ve heard all of this before – that your Grandfolks have told you this and your young uns, too. The thing is, there’s a very big difference between knowing something and REALLY KNOWING something, really feeling it.
And that’s where self-help comes to the rescue. (Almost.) Solutions (or symptoms) that show you “how it looks” to be happy, to be deeply comfortable in your own skin.
Self-help acts as a reminder, then – and it’s better than no reminder – but the Inside-Out understanding helps you find your own reminders, in real-time.
The feeling within.
The Inside-Out understanding keeps things simple:
- When you remember it, all is well;
- When you forget, it doesn’t feel like all is well, so
- When all isn’t well, it simply means you’ve ‘forgotten’
Remembered/Forgotten what again?
- The Inside-Out understanding of the human experience – that every problem (and solution) comes from within, created moment by moment via the three principles of Mind, Consciousness and Thought… That the feeling is ALL.
Quotes About Happiness That Show You How To Be Happy
These very carefully selected happiness quotes point to the source, then, and not the symptoms of your happiness:
Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.
– Margaret Lee Runbeck
Authentic happiness is not linked to an activity; it is a state of being, a profound emotional balance struck by a subtle understanding of how the mind functions.
– Matthieu Ricard
People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.
– Abraham Lincoln
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
– Mahatma Gandhi
Authentic happiness is always independent of external conditions.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
– Eleanor Roosevelt
Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.
On a deeper level you are already complete. When you realize that, there is a playful, joyous energy behind what you do.
– Eckhart Tolle