– Why It’s Always About Love and Listening!
It doesn’t really matter what you think. Or what your methods and practices are. Or even how experienced you are as a coach or caring professional. It all comes down to love and listening in the moment. In the end. And the resultant connection. As I explain in this transformative coaching follow-up to a psychotherapist…
[Last updated: June, 2016 – post summary]
Introduction: How I Followed Up With A Transformative Coaching Client
This is how it goes, sometimes. For me, anyway. The client gets in touch; they want some coaching, she gets some coaching – and I tell her what transformative coaching is, how it works, the price etc.
And then, sometimes, they say “Sign me up!” and sometimes they do not.
And sometimes, well sometimes I get to send them a reminder followup communication about the powerful benefits (to say the least!) of transformative coaching (see below)…
Transformative Coaching: My Example Follow-Up
Hello Diane [Client Name Changed]
Thought I would follow-up with you re the further coaching conversations we talked about in our opening transformative coaching conversation.
In the spirit of openness, I don’t normally follow up with potential clients as it just doesn’t occur to me to do so (I know I will always have the clients I need). Sometimes, though, it does occur – like now.
I’m also aware of the incredible potential behind these conversations, and how sharing this understanding (the inside out nature of the human experience) changes everything!
By the way, there’s nothing incredible about the conversations per se. What’s
incredible is that they get the client to see for themselves how amazing/ incredible/ invincible they already are.
Connection, Being Yourself & More
So, reading between the lines [of your last email to me], I know that you see the importance of this 3 principles understanding, of having further transformative coaching conversations. But I sense you see it as a threat to your existing psychotherapy practice, too – perhaps the understanding might conflict with the years of study and training, or something.
Here’s the thing, though. From my years of relationships (and friendships) with therapists and counsellors what’s becoming clearer and clearer to them (and to me) is that it’s not about the “therapeutic modality”; it’s always about the human connection – always!
Develop a great connection or rapport with a client and you’ve got a chance to do some great work with them.
(Don’t you agree?)
And this, then, is how staying in the 3 principles conversation can help you as a therapist. The more you see, know and ‘feel’ the truth of the human experience the easier it is for you to make deeper connections with your clients.
Then you just do your work as normal. (If that’s what occurs for you to do.)
I believe these coaching conversations make us more open, loving and real human beings – they make us more Who We Are. And when we’re being ourselves like this – more human, vulnerable, strong/weak – we just connect with others more easily, more deeply.
You continue these conversations with me, Diane, and I’m fairly certain you will be more and more of value to your clients (at the very least!).
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Transformative Coaching: My ‘Being Yourself’ Example
Before I finish this rather long email. I just want to share with you what’s happened for me in the last 9 months (of a conversation I got involved in October 2012 – nearly 2 years ago):
- I’ve found what I’ve always been looking for – ME, a direct experience that I am the answer
- I’m much more open to others, much more curious – including women I’m attracted to, where before I’d be striving for their approval or desire, I can now just enjoy them for the whole human beings they are.
- I’m so much more gentle with myself (and thus others) I’ve started to re-see my past selves in a more loving, appreciate gaze
- And I take myself much less seriously!
But I still take myself seriously. I still make mistakes and feel bad about making mistakes. I still feel awkward at times, socially. I’m still flawed and not always okay with my flaws.
But, most of the time, I feel okay being me (sometimes I genuinely feel thankful); I recognise I am enough; I love being me so much more than I ever could have imagined possible.
Can you imagine what your life would be like, let alone how compassionate and connecting you’d be a therapist?
I’m only starting to see the potential of what my life would be like, but I know words like amazing, invincible and happy/funny/silly come to mind. And I’m almost certain I can have the love life I’ve always wanted. Even when I forget and start to do the despair thing, I know that’s just a low state that will pass; all from knowing I am enough, as is.
Powerful. Potent. Sexy. Funny. Loving. Gentle. Graceful. Grateful…
Thank you, Diane
Thanks, Diane, for reading this. And thanks for our first transformative coaching conversation which I enjoyed. I just wanted to more fully share what the possibilities behind staying in this conversation could be for you, both as woman and therapist.
I feel I have made a fair effort of doing so.
Do let me know if what I’ve shared speaks to you, and whether you’d like to have some further conversations with me!
Thanks,
Steve
~~~
