The Inside-Out Conversation

Last Updated: March 29, 2021


Welcome to my very first blog post on! First created in Jan, 2014. A conversation about the Inside-Out Understanding, no less, aka The 3 Principles Understanding. A transformative conversation about the human experience that you can now read, or listen to, or both…


Let’s Talk – Let The Transformations Begin, Too!

Let’s talk about happiness, self-esteem, confidence, everythingBut this is not a self-help or self-improvement conversation, nor ‘impractical spirituality’. It’s simply a meaningful, transformative conversation about the Inside-Out Understanding of the human experience, and it really does change everything.

From feeling like something is ‘wrong’ somehow, to knowing that all is well then…


A Transformative Conversation: You, Me and Rumi…

What, exactly, is a transformative conversation?

What is this Inside-Out understanding?

And – finally! – will any of this hurt?

Hah! Well believe it or not esteemed poet, Rumi, answers all those questions in just 9 words (see above). Mere mortals like me need a few more, though.

So let the transformative conversation begin…

Not just any ol’ conversation, mind, but a transformative coaching conversation about what it means to be YOU – via the Inside Out understanding of the human experience discovered by a Mr Sydney Banks, called The Three Principles.

But this is not a self-help conversation of the motivational tub-thumping kind. Nor is it a conversation about TLAs (Three Letter Acronyms) like NLP, or EFT or even CBT. And it is most definitely NOT a conversation to remind you of your pain and your suffering and your ‘low self-esteem’ (so I can swoosh you this way and that way and get you to buy, buy, and buy some more!).

Instead, it’s a conversation about what happens when we connect ourselves to who we truly are, to love; when we connect ourselves to others. It’s all about connections, it truly is.


“You Are Not Broken”

All is well, actually, with you. (Even if it looks like it isn’t.) You really are not broken, and you definitely don’t need to be fixed!

Trouble is you just don’t realise this, right now, that’s all.

  • But this conversation could help you.
  • And the many other transformative conversations I intend to create here could help.
  • And my coaching could help you, too. (Work with me?)

Or maybe a personal example could inspire you to ‘see’ (‘feel’) it, who knows!…


MY EXAMPLE: I’ve found romantic relationships difficult.

So I’ve been in and out of serious long-term relationships, in my life so far, and for a long time I’d considered myself ‘broken’ – asking myself questions like “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I settle down like everyone else does?” etc. But now I see that this is just my journey so far, to have loved several women as well as I can.

I no longer struggle to make my relationship work; instead I now trust in love and I see what happens. This is how it is. Nothing is wrong. I am not broken (I’m really not).


Must be time for that Sufi poet extraordinaire, Rumi, to have his say, I reckon, to contribute to the transformative conversation as only he can:

Be empty of worrying.
Think of who created thought!

Why do you stay in prison
When the door is so wide open?
–  Rumi

More Rumi quotes here (…



“…You Are Powerful Beyond Measure”

Sounds scary, doesn’t it, being powerful beyond measure!

  • Would it help you if I told you that so was I, powerful beyond measure, and so was everyone else alive on planet earth right now?
  • Would it help if I told you this power was the natural order of things?
  • Would it help you if I told you that this power was really love – a power to guide you effortlessly through the travails of life, relationships, career, everything? (If you let it.)

We all have access to this power, to the infinite intelligence that’s behind life. Some call this force ‘creativity’. Some call it ‘love’ (like me). And some even call it God.

Whatever you call it, ALL have experienced this power at some point in their life. And all have felt abandoned by it too, lost and alone – separated, isolated, powerless.


MY EXAMPLE: I’m guided by a ‘loving force’, these days…More and more I’m living life by the ‘strange pull’ that Rumi speaks of below.

Whether it’s a new romantic relationship that just feels right (no matter the ‘circumstances’ that could make me run in the opposite direction), or it’s making space to begin my transformative coaching practice with no pressure to earn money from it. Or it’s the moment-to-moment experience of my day, where I allow myself to come up with ideas of how to spend it and simply allow what feels best.

I feel guided, as my life unfolds, and not driven by fear as I used to be.


Time for some more words of love and wisdom from Rumi…

Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull
of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.
–  Rumi


“…You Are LOVE”

I’m sounding really hippy now I know. But you ARE love, you are, and so am I. Alas, you can also be fear too (as can I). And, yes, it’s when we act from the place of fear that all the damage gets done.

Now I’m not promising you a life of fearless living here. I’m just saying that once you understand the true nature of the human experience you naturally (it seems) love more and fear less, and the effect is rather wonderful, rather marvellous.


MY EXAMPLE: So many examples, so little time!…Hmm, I could talk about how love and fear have shown up in my relationships for a very long time indeed. How open and embracing I feel when acting from love, and how tight and closed down I feel when acting from fear. How fear justifies my actions, my limitations, and how love needs no reason to proceed other than it feels like the ‘highest’ thing to do. How I love fear and fear love.

Let’s just say that I met a woman – her name was Francesca G – and we fell in love. And it all started with our mutual appreciation of Rumi’s words below…


Over to you again, then, Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi:

Your task is not to seek for love,
but merely to seek and find
all the barriers within yourself
that you have built against it.
–  Rumi


A Transformative Conversation or an Overdose of Spiritual Clichés?

Hmm, “you are love”, “you are powerful beyond measure”, and “you are not broken” – all of these sentiments come across as classic spiritual clichés. And like any cliché – true or otherwise – they are easy to ignore.

But the REAL power behind a transformative coaching conversation is that you get to see the truth of these statementsabout you for yourself. Really. But you can only find this out for yourself…

Yes, you can only ‘feel it’ for yourself. Like swimming, like riding a bike, like giving birth to another human being, ‘doing’ is so much more meaningful than ‘talking about doing’. (Yet another difference between theory and practice.) So it goes, then, for reading about transformation – reading about the Inside-Out understanding – and feeling it directly for yourself.

So, as best I can, I encourage you to stay in this Inside-Out conversation until (at least) you have felt the truth of it for yourself.


Whilst You Are Here...

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