Who Am I?
25. I don’t find it comfortable talking to women I don’t know that I’m attracted to
(I’m uncomfortable sharing something ‘real’ to you that you might not approve of…)
Easily the least ‘comfortable’ of all the videos I’ve recorded so far, this one (turns out).
This first of three videos I’ve decided to record today (Friday, Sept 7th, 2017) one after another. And my discomfort carried forward into the other two videos, too and the sound was ‘off’ in the other two videos… Oh glory be!
Anyway, to feel discomfort in a video that’s about not feeling comfortable is kinda perfect (I tell myself afterwards).
So what’s going on, then, Mr Steve, with this not finding it comfortable talking to women I don’t know that I’m attracted to. Well, Steve, let me attempt an intellectual guess:
- I want them to find me attractive in some way too (!)
- I want to know what’s going to happen
- I want to able to control their experience of me (oh oh!)
Honestly, I have no idea what’s going on here. It seems this ‘stranger awkwardness’ that I’m projecting onto ‘attractive women’ has been with me ever since I discovered I was a “hot-blooded hetersexual male” – before that, though, I was just uber-shy!
But. Is. It. True?
Any of it?
Is this who I really am, always? Or are there exceptions to the rule? Or am I really just making the whole thing up – all of it?
Hmm, all I know is… my ‘awkward squirmy-squirm time’ is about to be revealed to you (be gentle, eh!)…
WHO AM I?...
Introducing a series of videos that explore my so-called 'personality' by way of looking at qualities, behaviours and traits that I seem to identify with.
Why? To get curious. To get curious about who I am - by looking at who I am not. That's why. It's all explained here... Who Am I?
(Hey, maybe you have one of these made up 'personality' things, too!)