– Stop Taking Life So Seriously! (Please.)
Can there be anything less sexy than seriousness? Really? It don’t feel nice, do it, no matter how ‘justified’ the feeling. And I should know – “too serious” was perhaps the most common description of me, growing up. There is hope, though, there really is…
[Last updated: July, 2016 – post summary]
Why So Serious – Introduction
Here is a recipe for disaster. Believe your thinking, don’t question it! And make the thinking of others important too, especially in regard to yourself. Add a pinch of insecurity into the mix, flavour with uncertainty – then cook on a high heat of fear, and leave to stew.
…A serious life – with little joy and space to be creative (make mistakes).
Ah, this would be the beginning of my autobiography for sure…
“Steve, Why So Serious?”
If my life makes me qualified to write about any single thing then it would be being serious. I was not always serious, all of the time, and there were some people I was rarely serious with (how curious), but ask anyone who knew me – from un-smiley little boy to angst-ridden little man – and ‘too serious’ would be their quick refrain…
Why was I so serious, then?
- I didn’t know any other way, and
- Honestly, it just made sense to be serious,
- It just felt like a necessary defence against ‘life’
(and the continual criticisms and ridicule
I seem to find there).
But now I know better, much better, I really do.
And it’s all thanks to the Inside Out understanding of the human experience (aka the 3 Principles), and a deepening love of myself, as I am – others can think what they like of me, that’s up to them, and I can think what I like of me too.
Oops, I’m getting ahead of myself a little here. Let’s reggae rewind this…
Again, “Why So Serious?”
Seriousness is a serious business. It affects ALL aspects of how you do life, how you perceive it, what you get from it. It impacts on all of your relationships, especially the one you have with yourself.
RELATIONSHIPS SIDE NOTE:
1. You have relationships at work
2. You have relationships with family & friends
3. You have relationships with strangers
And ALL of these relationships start with the relationship with yourself
But, as I’ve grown to understand the inside out nature of the human experience more, I’ve also grown to be less serious. For me, seriousness – about anything (see below) – is a clear guide to how someone feels about themselves, and thus about life.
So I see seriousness affecting someone (like you/me) in the following ways:
– how you feel
– what you’re thinking
– what your expectations are
Which means you get to feel, you get to think, and you get to expect certain things from life, but – please! – the less you take any of that seriously the better, I promise.
All of the above can be called… thinking.
(It can also be called ‘being you’, interestingly enough.)
So when you take your thinking seriously, you’re really taking yourself seriously.
So, question (in a self-help voiceover voice):
- Are you taking life seriously?
- Do you worry, fret, and gnaw away at your insides?
- Do you think that you have low self self-esteem, lack confidence, and are not as clever/funny/ beautiful as the next man/woman? (Is this thinking so pervasive, so powerful, that you don’t think it you know it because it’s true?)
Guess what? Hate to break it to you, but…
Nothing that you think is true. It’s all made up. The only thing that’s true is *that* you think. So…
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You don’t NEED to take your thinking seriously
Can you believe that you don’t need to take your thinking seriously? It’s true. Which means you don’t need to take yourself seriously. Alas…
- This ‘truth’ is as useful as kindly reminding an anorexic person that it’s okay for them to eat more food.
- Or how about encouraging an alcoholic to believe that they really will be able to only have one drink.
- Or what about forcefully telling a worrier to, er, simply stop worrying.
Hmm, this ‘truth’ is not that useful at all, really – they really have heard it all before.
But, still. It IS true. (The innocent misuse of thinking is the cause of ALL of the problems above, by the way.)
You do not need to believe everything you think. (And the less you believe anything you think the better.) And I simply invite you to see (and feel) the truth of this for yourself, invite you into what my mentor, Michael Neill, calls a HFMOG moment.
“Thinker, Why So Serious?”
Alas, we create our world via our thinking. We navigate and guide ourselves by rational (and sometimes not-so-rational) thought. Without thinking, we would be nothing (literally).
Let’s just say that thinking is the ultimate tool of creation – nothing gets done, is experienced or is understood without the principle of Thought.
Let’s just say that we are thinking creatures, then.
But who is in charge – the thinker or the thinking? Who is in charge?
So the less seriously you can take your thinking, then, but still be able to act on that thinking from a place of wisdom, the more you will be ‘in charge’.
Yes, thinking is everything – both the cause of and solution to ALL of your problems – so how can we not take our thoughts so seriously?
Well, I’ll leave you to ponder on that one for yourself. (For now.) For seeing/feeling this for yourself is everything, and being told it is not much more than nothing. (And you have already not taken your thinking seriously on may occasions, if you can but remember doing so.)
For now, though, I’d like to remind you that not taking your thinking seriously is perhaps the sexiest quality in the world.
Because you cannot take yourself so seriously if you don’t take your thinking seriously. And not being so serious is perhaps the sexiest quality in a person. (Think about that, if you can, without taking what you think so seriously, of course.)