(The World of Unfelt & Unknown You)
Ever wondered what was ‘wrong’ with the world? Ever been shocked at the strife and the terror? Ever cried out, “Why can’t we all just get along?” If so, I have some good news for you. And bad. If you really want peace ‘out there’, you’re going to have to make peace with yourself – all your unfelt pain…
[Last updated: July, 2016 – post summary]
An Introduction to the World of Unfelt Pain
And Jeff Foster speaks lovingly and wisely about this, via his teachings on what he calls the deepest acceptance. Truthfully, as he acknowledges, nobody tells us how to be with our pain, they just don’t. Alas, doing this is where the answers lie…
And, of course, theosopher and discoverer of The Three principles, Syd Banks knew the truth of this, too.
Unfelt Pain – Some Notes & Musings
Hmm, I see a lot of blog posts, tweets and Facebook status updates on the state of the world. And, by all accounts, it’s looking grim. Very grim. (And I’ve made a point, by the way, of following positive, uplifting, enlightened types, too.)
The world. Outlook: grim.
Well, thankfully for you and I both, this is not what I’m going to briefly write about today. The world is the world is the world. Thus has it always been. Thus is it now. Thus will it always be.
(I do not see the stars achatterin’ about the demise of the pale blue dot (planet earth). These very same stars probably do not care about this next bit of this blog post, either, but never mind…)
The REAL PROBLEM with the world: UNFELT PAIN.
(Well, that and an innocent misunderstanding of how life actually works, from the Inside Out rather than the Outside In.)
My Theory of Human Suffering (Notes)
Yes, let me share with you my theory of human suffering.
Something ‘bad’ happens to us. (A feeling we do not enjoy.) We never properly deal with it.
- It stays with us, leaks out into our life, spoiling how we show up and making us fearful
- It shuts us down – we close to life, love, experiences rather than open – but we never see that that’s what’s happening.
- So our life “spirals downward and inward” – and we blame the stuff that’s going wrong in our life (or gone wrong), rather than look to the source of it all, the ‘bad’ thing that happened that we never truly felt.
And all because we did not enjoy that feeling.
(This suffering made exponentially worse, naturally, when experienced as a child. Completely irrational associations with this ‘unpleasant feeling’ are made, or feelings are forcibly forgotten subconsciously. And similar feelings (situations) are then avoided AT ALL COSTS.)
In short, human suffering comes from ‘unfelt pain’, from avoiding feeling the pain that simply HAS to be felt.
So Syd Banks words that say:
“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience that alone would change the world”
is really talking about feeling unfelt pain, as and when it turns up in us. Nothing is wrong with this pain. We might not like it. But nothing is wrong with it, or us.
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Unfelt Pain, Unhelpful Solutions
What also makes things worse, is all the distracting solutions that seem to offer help but really only confuse us. And, still, the unfelt pain goes unfelt…
- Premise of Tapping/Emotional Freedom Technique: unfelt pain is baaaad, tap it away at all costs
- Premise of Past Life Regression: this unfelt pain is not yours, it belongs to a past life
- Premise of Hypnosis: feel about your unfelt pain in a different way
- Premise of ‘Angel Guides’: listen to us as we guide you away from the pain
- Premise of Self-Help: you don’t deserve this unfelt pain
Now these are notes, so I am not being definitive and thorough and researched when I dismiss the so-called solutions to unfelt pain. (In fact I’m being somewhat frivolous.) But whilst these and other solutions (Byron Katie’s The Work, anyone?) may help in the short term, I do know the only long term solution is…
Simple solution: learn how to feel your pain, and then feel your pain.
But, as Jeff Foster so sagely speaks about it in his book The Deepest Acceptance, we do not know how to feel this pain.
Yep, he’s right, we do not know how to feel this pain.
The answer then?…
The 3 Principles Points You (Inward) Towards The Truth
Well, my answer has been to discover and then deepen the inside-out understanding of the human experience, first proposed by Sydney Banks (known as The 3 Principles).
So I now know (deeply so) that my experience of life comes from the inside. So when I feel something I don’t like. Sadness. Fear. Abandonment. A feeling I just don’t like. I know where this feeling comes from. Inside. And I sit with it. I accept it. I do not make it wrong. And I do not point at the outside world. It (eventually) passes, as it must do.
That’s what I do. (Some of the time, anyway. Work in progress, y’know.) How about you?
Does any of this ‘unfelt pain’ stuff make sense for you, and your life? I’d love to hear your thoughts, I really would.