“Just Tell Me More About You, Steve!”
Okay. This site, from me Steve M Nash, is about your transformation. Via sharing the Inside Out understanding – in my E-zine, on my blog and in videos, or directly via coaching conversations – it aims to guide you towards a clearer mind, more ease, less stress, more resilience and greater access to your inner wisdom…
All of which points you towards your limitless potential. Wow! (Read more here!)
It’s not about being perfect, though, and never getting it wrong. It’s not even about never forgetting the Inside-Out nature of being human – I forget all the time. It’s simply about how life actually works, how you work…
…I am Steve M Nash, by the way – thank you for being here – and I am a transformative coach (or 3 Principles Practitioner – and you can read more about my story, below!).
And that just means I’m someone who can remind you Who You Are – I can remind you that you’re really rather remarkable. Yes, seriously!
- Yes, you are loveable, funny, resourceful, creative and wise…
And remembering this (in stressful times of forgetting) – well, it all starts with understanding & accepting, being gentle with, and listening to… yourself. (A little more!) And then it’s so much easier to enjoy your life (and health) more, to have better relationships, and to put as much energy into a rewarding work-life as you want.
NOTE: Never underestimate the power of seeing things in a new way, the power of insights. Insight changes everything, and insight is ALWAYS available to you – just one thought away!…
NOTE: I am not my job, or my relationship, or even my achievements, and neither are you – who am I, then?
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STORY: Once Upon a Time in the West (of Yorkshire)…
I’d like to tell you a story. My story. About Steve M Nash, and how he started out as a shy little boy and how he grew into the man he is now!
It’s a true story, as true as any story is anyway, made up of characters (like him) all doing their best at the time. Somehow, he’s always been driven to understand, to explain, to find the truth of why things are the way they are. And perhaps the reasons for that lie in his story, or perhaps they don’t.
And he’s always wanted to be as transparent, open and honest as possible (not always the easiest path to take, for sure – as this perhaps painfully revealing video illustrates (note: includes one swear word – the f-word, sorry))…
Anyway, let’s begin shall we!…
“Once upon a time there was a little boy…”
He was happy, I suppose, but he only had a few good friends; he was shy; he was serious; he was lonely.
- As a teenager he had the same struggles as all teenagers, in his case being bullied (goaded) for being ‘different’, ‘vulnerable’… ‘too serious’. More than that, though, there was a deep disquiet within him, a strong sense of isolation – a not wanting others to enjoy themselves, so it’d be okay for him to not enjoy himself too.
- Love arrived age 19, and sex, and the beginning of a (never-ending) journey into trying to understand women, relationships! Life was still not fun for Steve, though (was it meant to be?) – he was too quirky for most, too ‘odd’, “A slaphead!”. But work (as a computer programmer) and love and sex and sport… time passed!
- So his 20s came and went, and his 30s. Friends were still few and far between. (“You’re too serious, Steve!” “You worry too much!”) Love wasn’t getting any easier, and neither were the breakups! “Why is life so hard?”.
It was only being forced to stop for a while, aged 35 – he tore his soleus calf muscle whilst losing a game of badminton doubles (he should have won) – that helped him to a) stop working for others (he became a successful online publisher, working for himself for 13 years), and to b) realise he was a deeply unhappy person.
Enter Self Help stage left, enter the beginnings of (a spiritual) self-awareness and the understanding that life didn’t have to be this way, life could in fact be fun…
My Mis-adventures With Self-Help…
So – and leaving the story behind (if I can!) – I started reading lots and lots of self-help books.
And they helped, to a point, because they helped me raise my awareness of myself. And many books inspired me, as I realised we are all the same, all fighting the same battles (books like C Terry Warner’s The Bonds That Make Us Free.)
I even turned this reading, this self-awareness, into my very own guru-free self-help site, called SelfHelpCollective.com.
But after a while I found I had made the self-help book my saviour now – if I could only find the right book! – I had forgotten, again, that salvation lies within.
The (Steve M Nash) Story Continues!
Fact is, there’s always a story. No matter who you are, how privileged your life, how good you seemingly got it goin’, there’s always a story. Man, woman, boy, girl – we’ve ALL got a story. And the extent to which we make that story work for us, rather than against us, is the extent to which our life is a success. (There IS a better way to relate to our stories, though – see below!)
So, I was no doubt loved as a child, and I’ve been loved as an adult too. But, still, a deep sense of not belonging, of being different, remained; a disquiet. And from that place of disquiet it’s easy to justify actions that, inevitably, hurt others (for ALL of us!).
“If the pain of your story is not transformed, it will be transmitted.”
– Richard Rohr
And my ‘disquiet’ is never going to go away whilst I look outside of myself towards the actions of others.
And where does that disquiet actually come from, anyway?… THINKING – it comes to us via the Principles of THOUGHT!
- We believe that thinking about ourselves, about what’s going to happen, keeps us safe (it doesn’t!)
- We give meaning to our thoughts/feelings and believe that meaning to be true (it’s not!)
- We do not see that it is merely THOUGHT, merely feeling, and nothing more!
Instead, and simply put, we need to think about ourselves (and our thinking) LESS, let go of the desire to control our experience, and thus trust ourselves MORE!
(Oh what were we thinking!)
Now I realise where suffering comes from, where joy comes from too. For me, for you, for everyone. (It comes from our relationship to our thinking, from taking some of our thinking so seriously we think our thoughts are real, from not knowing how to live any differently!)
Now I’d like to help everyone see this for themselves, more and more and more – to wake people (like you) up to a more graceful, grateful way to live – so I am an undergraduate of Michael Neill’s Supercoach Academy 2014 (finishes Sept. 2014), and have been deepening my grounding of the Inside Out nature of the human experience since Oct 2012.
Letting Go of The Stories…
So I have a story, you have a story, we ALL have our stories (our beliefs about who we are).
And some of those stories serve us, and some of those stories don’t. Either way, they are STILL just stories, stories we take too seriously – still just a collection of thoughts about moments we’ve already experienced!
Life is meant to be experienced anew, in each new moment – just like babies and young children experience life, you might notice.
So life flows better, in each new moment, if we can let go of the stories, let go of the thinking behind them. Instead, we rely on our innate wisdom and our innate wellness to show us the way – we learn to trust ourselves more and more.
And then we don’t take our successes so seriously, nor our struggles – we just keep showing up, trying one thing then another…
That’s how my life story goes now, anyway, and I’d love to get you to look in this direction of the unknown, too…
For visiting SMNash.com.
For reading these words…
Steve M Nash
Certified Transformative Coach
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